Social media has become an integral part of our lives, connecting us with people, ideas, and information across the globe. But while social media can offer many benefits, it can also pose some challenges to our mental health and well-being. One of these challenges is the tendency to compare ourselves to others online, which can lead to feelings of envy, inadequacy, and unhappiness.
Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” which means comparisons steal our satisfaction and rob us of long-term happiness. When we compare ourselves to others, we feel inferior and inadequate. In this negative frame of mind, we permit envy and jealousy to grow. Comparisons don’t fill our hearts with joy.
But why do we compare ourselves to others in the first place? And how can we overcome this habit and find more joy in our own lives?
In this article, we will explore the psychology of comparison, the effects of social media on our self-esteem, and some practical tips to stop comparing and start living.
The Psychology of Comparison
According to social comparison theory, we have a basic need to evaluate ourselves against others, which actually makes a lot of sense. Comparing ourselves to others helps us learn from them, improve ourselves, and measure our progress. For example, we might compare our grades to those of our classmates to see how well we are doing academically, or we might compare our fitness level to that of our friends to see how healthy we are.
However, not all comparisons are helpful or healthy. Sometimes, we compare ourselves to unrealistic or irrelevant standards, such as those of celebrities, influencers, or strangers online. These comparisons can make us feel dissatisfied with ourselves and our lives, especially if we perceive a gap between our reality and their idealised image.
Moreover, some comparisons are based on inaccurate or incomplete information. For instance, we might compare our behind-the-scenes struggles to someone else’s highlight reel on social media, without knowing the full story behind their posts. We might also compare our weaknesses to someone else’s strengths, without acknowledging our own strengths or their weaknesses.
These types of comparisons can have negative consequences for our mental health and well-being. Research has shown that comparing ourselves to others can lower our self-esteem, increase our anxiety and depression, reduce our happiness and life satisfaction, and impair our relationships.
The Effects of Social Media on Our Self-Esteem
Social media can amplify the problem of comparison by exposing us to a constant stream of curated and edited images and stories from other people’s lives. While social media can be a source of inspiration, entertainment, and connection, it can also be a source of pressure, insecurity, and isolation.
One of the main reasons why social media can trigger comparison is that it creates a distorted perception of reality. Most people only share the positive aspects of their lives online, such as their achievements, adventures, and appearances. They also use filters, edits, and enhancements to make their posts more attractive.
This creates the illusion that everyone else is happier, more successful, and more beautiful than we are. We forget that what we see online is not the whole truth, but a carefully crafted version of it. We also forget that everyone has their own challenges, struggles, and flaws that they don’t show online.
Another reason why social media can trigger comparison is that it encourages us to seek validation from others. We often measure our worth by the number of likes, comments, shares, and followers we receive online. We also compare these metrics to those of other people, which can make us feel inadequate or envious.
However, basing our self-esteem on external factors is not healthy or sustainable. We become dependent on others’ opinions and approval for our happiness. We also lose sight of our own values and goals, which matter more than any online feedback.
How to Stop Comparing and Start Living
So how can we overcome the social media dilemma and stop comparing ourselves to others online?
Here are some practical tips to help you break free from the comparison trap and find more joy in your own life:
- Limit your social media use: One of the simplest ways to reduce comparison is to reduce your exposure to it. Try setting boundaries on how much time you spend on social media each day or week. You can also use apps or tools that block or limit your access to certain platforms or websites. This will help you focus more on your own life and less on others.
- Unfollow or mute accounts that make you feel bad: Another way to reduce comparison is to curate your social media feed. Unfollow or mute any accounts that make you feel insecure, envious, or unhappy. These could be accounts that promote unrealistic or unhealthy standards of beauty, success, or happiness. Instead, follow accounts that inspire, educate, or entertain you. These could be accounts that share positive, uplifting, or humorous content, or accounts that align with your interests, passions, or values.
- Practise gratitude: One of the most powerful ways to reduce comparison is to practise gratitude. Gratitude is the act of appreciating what you have and expressing your thanks for it. Gratitude helps you shift your focus from what you lack to what you have. It also helps you recognise the good things in your life that you might take for granted. Research has shown that gratitude can increase your happiness, well-being, and self-esteem. To practise gratitude, you can keep a journal where you write down three things you are grateful for each day, or you can express your gratitude to someone who has helped or supported you.
- Celebrate your achievements: Another way to reduce comparison is to celebrate your achievements. Celebrating your achievements helps you acknowledge your progress and appreciate your efforts. It also helps boost your confidence and motivation. To celebrate your achievements, you can reward yourself with something you enjoy, such as a treat, a hobby, or a break. You can also share your achievements with someone who cares about you, such as a friend, a family member, or a mentor.
- Embrace your uniqueness: One of the most important ways to reduce comparison is to embrace your uniqueness. Embracing your uniqueness means accepting yourself as you are, with your strengths and weaknesses, your talents and flaws, and your quirks and preferences. It also means recognising that you are not in competition with anyone else, but only with yourself. You have your own path, purpose, and potential that no one else can match. To embrace your uniqueness, you can focus on your personal growth and development, pursue your passions and interests, and express your authentic self.
Conclusion
Comparison is the thief of joy because it makes us feel dissatisfied with ourselves and our lives. Social media can worsen this problem by exposing us to unrealistic and distorted images and stories from other people’s lives.
However, we can overcome this challenge by limiting our social media use, unfollowing or muting accounts that make us feel bad, practising gratitude, celebrating our achievements, and embracing our uniqueness. By doing so, we can find more joy in our own lives and appreciate ourselves for who we are.
